Jeff Mullen's Halloween Porn Party

2004

HCG

1. The man with the world's best afro was there, although I still don't know what the f@!$ he does...
2. Performer Tommy Gunn wants the world to see what a horny devil he really is...
3. I don't know what the name of this freaky white girl was...
4. ...but I thought for sure she was going to get gangbanged in the middle of the club. Imagine my surprise when I was the only one with my dick out at a friggin' porn party...
5. Higgie Baby with Gia Paloma, demonstrating for us, and eloquently I might add, what kind of ballyho may occur when you imbibe too many Halloween Porn Party spirits. BTW, here's a little FYI for ya, the drunker I got, the worse the pictures became...
6. Tony T and Teagan posed for a picture near the bar, because I forced them too, in an obnoxious manner. I actually creepily grabbed young hottie Teagan, the one with the new breasts, and yanked her away from Scott Nails, who was trying desperately to buy us all shots before the bar closed, which he failed to do, and then I MADE Tony T put his arm around her and both of them smile. If the picture seems at all fake, that is why. It's not that the two of them don't get along. Not at all. It's just a contrived picture. I'm so glad we could share this moment together...yeah right.
7. Again, here is a prime example of what too much drinking can do to you and your reputation. One minute Craven was buying us shots of sweet tequila and the next thing you know, he is in between these two horny sluts no one seems to know who are desperately trying to grab onto his beef jerky and slurp it for a while. So hard to sit and tell, so sad but true. We almost had to unleash the Asian killing machine on these two to get him back in custody, and look how happy he thinks he is. Chaw!
8. That's more like it. Craven's heart, or at least his genetalia, has been arrested by the lovely Lily Thai.
9. They REALLY wanted me to understand the reason for their matching Halloween costumes. Unfortunately for me, I was so fucking drunk from some shit Juan Carlos gave me that by this point, I didn't immediately get that their costumes match. Who can blame me? Besides, Lily is so fucking hot that when you look at her, you really stop thinking logically and let Little Brain take over anyway.
10. Former Playa Tony, now with Third Degree Films, and the Swiss Miss Episode...
11. This picture was taken in the VIP of VIP, right before I told Katie Bomb, I mean Gold, that she shouldn't have blown off our date five years ago and then insisted that Teagan show me her new tits. Teagan, who is always so accomadating to fakey press people, or "porn journalists" as some of my friends like to be called, whipped her top off and I was so impressed that I forgot to cop a feel. Adella, if you are reading this, please schedule a time that I can drop by and get a good squeeze of the merchandise. Did that sound creepy? I guess it did, huh?
12. I have no clue who this big titty cat lady is. I just liked her costume, and her exposed gila's, so I snapped one off. Give me a fuckin' break. I was drunk and talking to Scott Fayner and Taylor Rain who, as fate would have it, dressed like Scott Fayner. I was so impressed that I nearly asked her for a bump...just kidding...calm down now...SIMMER DOWN NOW!!!
13. Listen here kid, there's something rotten in Denmark if I don't get two shots of the Goose in my drink. Tell the bartender that they're for Frank Wank and don't be jackpotting around. I need to gas up the limo and do a little Halloween Prowl with the whores.
14. Shy Love poses with Jeannie Love...
15. Is there ever a time that Brittney Skye doesn't look good? I mean really? You wouldn't know, would you? Don't worry about it, 'cause I don't know either.
16. Danny from Wanted List, meet Devon from Digital Playground, who used to be with Vivid, and who is so fucking hot in ISLAND FEVER 3 that she practically melts my big screen. Now go be naughty father...very naughty...
17. Jonni Darkko and Ashley Blue were one of the best parts of my night. I love you guys man! And Jonni, Jonni, hold on, you're my best friend. Shit yeah I want another drink!
18. Mike Ramone from AVN found himself a lovely little sailor girl in Kimberly Kane.
19. Pat Myne declared himself Hell Bound. Not to mention that he kept telling me, in his drunken state, that the all carb diet I was on really wasn't working for me. Thanks Pat, I get the point.
20. Alex Divine was with a friend for the night, and didn't really seem to remember the night she sat in my lap while Justine and her made out at Crazy Girls, so I just said hello and she pretended that she knew who I was and then I went into the party and left her and her friend outside in the cold street. She's still pretty hot though...
21. I've never seen these women before in my fucking life, and I didn't see them in the party either. I wonder what was up with that?
22.Brian Surewood and Gia Jordan helped me end my evening. This was taken right before I made Surewood give me David Aaron Clark's phone number so I could call him in a drunken stupor and insist that he call me back. I'm starting to feel a little like Mel Gibson waiting on Arnold, I can tell you that.